Monday, August 30, 2010

Keeping Your Children Safe From Pornography

Picture from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Pornography Warning Label: “Contents highly addictive. Extremely corrosive to the soul materials enclosed. Be prepared to have your mind twisted, your views of life ravaged, and your spirit shrunk… Be prepared that after an initial rush, you will experience feelings of depression, loneliness, despair and guilt. However, with repeated exposures over time, you can numb those feelings – and enter into almost total amnesia about who you really are and about the truth it self.” – Wendy Watson.
Pornography is the second most searched topic on the internet, with about 68 Million searches per day. One in every five men view it at least every other day, and one in two view it weekly.   This helps the industry earn $100 Billion every year.

Chances are your son (more likely than your daughter) has been exposed to pornography, or will be exposed to it.  By the time of college, nine out of ten males have viewed pornography.

Now, your child will not start off viewing hard-core pornography.  “Gateway pornography” is usually what leads individuals into viewing pornography.  Gateway pornography is images, or movies that are not technically classified as pornography, but can lead to pornography.  Such as swimsuit calendars, sports magazines, and some music videos and films.  Usually this is how a pornography habit starts.

The following are some ways to help prevent pornography from entering your house so that you can keep your family safe.

First discuss, as a parent what sex is with your children.  Make this conversation apply to their age.  Let them know what pornography is as well.  This is something you can do on a yearly basis as their maturity grows.

Second is to discuss with your children what to do in cases of accidental viewing.  Something pornographic pops up on the computer screen, what do you do? Turn off the monitor and get mom or dad.  What do you do if you are watching an inappropriate show? Change the channel. And so on.  Of course, each house will have their own house rules.  It is your house; you do what you need to do.

Third is to be an open channel to your children.  Make sure that you are a safe person to talk to, so that they can talk to you about anything.  One of the ways to do this is to interview your children on a regular basis to see how they are doing and what they may need help with.  This is also a great time to see if they have been exposed to pornography.

Fourth is to filter out inappropriate material that may be in your home. Do a skim through your movies, music, video games, and magazine subscriptions to see if there may be anything pornographic, or even gateway pornography.  Anything that is questionable, throw it out.  Get rid of it immediately.  Also, before you buy a movie, check it out through something like or  They review the movie in great detail for you.  Sometimes by doing this filtering process, it may surprise you how much gateway porn has entered your home because you may have become desensitized.

Fifth is to protect the computer.  Set up parental controls to block inappropriate sites.  Unfortunately not all sites are blocked.  So it would be good to have a way to follow up on what your children are viewing on the computer.  Make sure you have access to your children’s computers and emails, even if they are password protected.  Don’t leave an Internet connected computer in a child’s room.   Put the computer in a frequented place in the house where people can see what one is doing.  It may also be good to not allow access to computer without a parent home, and at nighttime. Take the modem to bed with you.  This will make sure none of your kids are on the Internet alone.

These are just a couple of strategies that you can use to protect your house and children from pornography, and for preventing it from ever entering your house.  Be creative in what you do, but most of all, make sure your family is safe.

What are some things you do to keep your family safe from pornography?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Remember You Are a Husband First

It is often fairly common in marriages that the children become the focal point of the relationship, and that the children are what hold the marriage together.

While it is important to spend time with your children, and invest in them, you need to spend time with your wife as well.  You wouldn’t be the father you are, if you didn’t have your wife.

It is always a shame when men, when asked who they are, respond with a career position, followed by a church or volunteer position, than dad, and lastly (and sometimes not mentioned) husband.  You are a husband, first and foremost.  You need to love, care for, and nurture your relationship with your wife, the mother of your children. Again, you would not be a lot things in this world without the support of your wife.

There are several things that you can do to help you put your wife first:
  • Remember to date your wife.  Have a date night once a week, where it is just you and your wife. No kids.
  • Spend time together daily.  Watch a TV show together, read a book, play a game, shop together. Just do something to be together daily.
  • Pray together.  Studies have shown that couples that pray together, stay together.
  • Give a token that says, “I love you”.  While at school or work, send your wife a text message saying, “I love you”. Leave a note at home.  Do something that will let her know that you love her.
  • Consider showering when you get home.  We all shower for when we have to leave to work.  Have you ever thought of the impression you’d give your spouse if showered for her when you got home work, to get rid of that work smell? Try it.

Remember you are a husband first, a dad second.  Everything else helps you fulfill your role as husband and father.  Make sure you let your wife know that she is first in your life.

What are some other ways that you can show your spouse that they are number one?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Tips to get your Child Ready for Kindergarten

The transition to kindergarten can be quite an adjustment for children and parents.  Your little angel is now going to school.  Here are some steps, taken from, to consider to prepare yourself for kindergarten.
  • A month before, or as soon as possible if less than, start establishing a routine to prepare for the transition.  Get up earlier, eat a packed lunch, and anything else that you feel will help prepare your child for kindergarten.
  • Read some books about going to kindergarten.
  • Ask if you can bring your child in to get familiar with the room.
  • Meet the teacher and principal of the school.
  • Make sure that your child has the appropriate immunizations.
  • Teach your child to say “please” and “thank you”
  • Plan now not to drag out “good bye” on the first day of classes.

These are just a couple of recommendations.  You can go to for more information.  Or even implement plans, and activities that will help you and your child prepare for the transition to Kindergarten.

Photo from: FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

What are some things you have, or will be doing to prepare your child for Kindergarten?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Moving with Toddlers

Photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

As you and your spouse found out by having a child, life changes.  Sometimes, life will change again so that you can provide for your family.  This may require a move.  Also, you may need to move if you are finding your place too small for your growing family.

Moving can be hard on a toddler, even though they may not show it, because they are so resilient! Nonetheless, here are some suggestions for you to consider while moving.

  • Involve the toddler in packing and unpacking their bedroom to help them understand where their stuff is going.
  • On the big moving day (or days), have your child stay with a friend or family member so that they don’t get hurt or overwhelmed by all the changes.
  • Keep enough supplies and toys unpacked so that you can still meet your child’s needs during the transition.
  • Unpack enough of your child’s room so that they will feel comfortable.
  • Be prepared for night terrors or nightmares.  Even though your child may show few symptoms of stress while awake, they may come out while sleeping.
  • Have a clear path from your toddlers bedroom to your bedroom.  This way you can get to them in the dark without any pain, and same with your child.
  • If you are making a long distance move, make a trip out of it.  Have fun on the drive, do sight seeing, if possible.
  • If the move is far, consider as a father doing the driving on your own, and having your wife and child(ren) stay behind and fly out when you arrive.  This could minimize the stress on your family as a whole, but costs more.

Of course these are recommendations, and what each family does during a move can and will vary.  These are just some things to trigger thoughts of what you should consider while moving with a toddler.

What are some things you have done while moving your children?