What to do with all that candy

Hallowe’en has officially come and gone.  You have taken the effort to get your children all dressed up to go and get candy (whether on Saturday or Sunday night).  Now you have a collection of candies, too much to consume at any sitting, or during any one week.  So what should you do?

Here are a couple of ideas of what to do with all that candy!

First, you should start filtering through the candy for anything that may not be suitable for your child.  Allergies are super sensitive in your child, so if they have a nut, milk, or some other kind of allergy, take them out before your child tries to eat one.  I realize you probably have done this already, but just take extra precautions since a lot of candies are small and could be over looked.

Second, you should start rationing the candy.  Set a reasonable, age appropriate, ration on the candy.  For example, two treats for lunch, two after school, and two after supper.

Third, award treats for good behaviour.  If your child wants more treats, ask them to do chores around the house.  For each chore they do, give them an extra candy.  If they finish their homework extra early, reward them.

Fourth, use the candies for bargaining.  If your child wants to watch extra TV, video games, or play time, have one candy after supper instead of two.

Fifth, maybe have a couple candies to yourself to help ease the sugar-rush-burden on your child.

Happy candy eating’s!

What are some things you are doing to ration your child’s candy intake?

What are you surrounding yourself with?

There was a study that was released during the summer that showed that if someone in your social network divorced, your chances of divorcing increased.  You probably noticed that when you got married, it seemed like everyone else was as well.  We tend to cluster together with those who are similar or are doing similar things as us.

It’s almost human nature.  We see this happen in grade schools.  The loud kids group together, the active kids group together, the quiet, the shy, the divorced, the boys, the girls, the parentless, and so on.  We group together.  Our social network plays a key role in a lot of our choices.

We need to surround ourselves with other supportive parents.  We need to surround ourselves with other parents who are respectful to their spouses.  We need to be around those who do not belittle, or attempt to tear down our marriage or families.  Why?  We are at a sensitive point in our lives raising children.  It is not an easy job to raise kids.  Kids can be very draining (but also very rewarding); you don’t need anything else consuming your energy.

However, how are we doing internally?  When you are alone, are you implanting thoughts, ideas, or feelings that will interfere with you being a parent?  What are you clicking at on your computer?  What shows and movies are you watching?  What are you listening to?  Do these things help encourage you to be a better husband or father, or are they placing a wedge between you and your family.

You would probably never let your coworkers tell you that you shouldn’t have had kids, or that you are failing as a parent, or take you away from your family for long periods of time.  But we may not have the same guidelines for the TV, movies, video games, music, and computer.  We need to though!  Start establishing them.

Take a dash through your music collection, movie collection, and TV subscription.  Are there some things that need to be removed from your house?  If there is, get it out. Now! Not tomorrow, not in a couple days, do it now.

If you need to make changes to your social network, do that as well.

As you start removing items, and people from your life who drain your energy, you will become a more effective parent and spouse.  You will not feel as pulled down or worn out.

Courageous Parenting

The following are highlights from a talk given by Larry R. Lawrence an ophthalmologist from Fresno, California.  He spoke about being a courageous parent in the world today.

• In these days, what the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand (Emphasis added).
• Challenges and temptations are coming at teenagers with the speed and power of a freight train.  Strong parents are necessary to fill the responsibility of protecting their children, both physically and spiritually (I would also add, emotional and mental, Emphasis added).
• If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, TV show, video game, dress, swimsuit or an internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say ‘No’ (Emphasis added).
• Beware of allowing your children to pair off in romantic relationships prematurely (Please read a previous post series on whether your child is ready to date).
• As well, beware of allowing your children to spend nights away from home. Too often drug experimenting, trying alcohol, violations of chastity, exposure to pornography, and encounters with police occur while spending a night away from home (Please read a previous post about sleepovers).
• There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home.  Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evenings and to kiss them goodnight.
• Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence
• There are five ways families can fortify themselves: family prayer, family scripture study, a weekly family activity (family home evening), family dinner, and one-to-one interviews with children.

You can watch, read, or listen to the talk.

What are you doing to become a Courageous Parent?

Career Choice can Impact Family Life

There was a study done recently in the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology.  This study looked at various occupations and divorce rates. It has heated up the debate over how career choices can impact our personal lives.

The top ten occupations where divorces are common are:

1. Dancers and Choreographers (43.1%)
2. Bartenders (38.4)
3. Massage Therapists (38.2)
4. Fish and Game Wardens (25.5)
5. Law Enforcement Officers (14.5)
6. Detectives (12.5)
7. Casino Workers
8. Telephone Operators
9. Nurses
10. Home Health Aides

Among the top ten occupations where divorce is the lowest are:

1. Agricultural Engineers
2. Sales Engineers
3. Nuclear Engineers
4. Optometrists (4%)
5. Clergy (5.6)
6. Podiatrists (6.8)

Now, let’s not get freaked out here husbands and fathers. These numbers don’t paint a complete picture.  Remember this is a correlation, not causation. Sometimes professions and occupations have a certain lifestyle attached to them, and if that is avoided, than so too could a divorce be avoided.

If there is one thing I have learned as a Counsellor, is that I don’t see many individuals in my office who are happy and having fun in their intimate relationships.  It’s usually the ones who have fallen out of love.  One way to stay in love is to continuously date your wife.  Have fun with her.  Keep that flame burning.

Also, as you are making your career choices, you should investigate some things.  Like traveling, are you going to be away from home, how does your spouse feel about that?  Also consider hours, will you be working nights, weekends, or a compressed workweek.  You should also consider the stress of your job, and will that spillover to your home life.  How do you plan on handling work stress?

As I had noted in a previous post, you are a husband first, next you are a father, and than you are job position, church position, volunteer position and so on.  I recommend reading this earlier post by another author of things to consider as you work.

Do you think career choice impacts family life? How so?

Food Safety Quiz

A kitchen is a great place to have fun and make stuff with your kids.  It is also a great place to create bacteria breeding grounds.  So lets test your knowledge on food safety to see if you are keeping your family safe in the kitchen.

1. The best way to avoid food poisoning is to
1. Use bacterial soaps
2. Buy only organic food
3. Wash your hands with plain soap and water before and after handling food
4. Eat only at home, not at restaurants.
2. Cooked foods should be refrigerated within
1. 30 minutes
2. 2 hours
3. 3 hours
4. 4 hours
3. Which are potential sources of foodborne illness?
1. Raw eggs, poultry, beef, seafood
2. Unwashed produce
3. Raw sprouts
4. Unpasteurized milk, apple juice and apple cider.
4. Which cutting board is safer?
1. Plastic
2. Wood
5. If you get sick from eating an egg salad sandwich left out too long, the most likely culprit is the
1. Bread
2. Eggs
3. Mayonnaise
4. Relish
6. True or False: Hard cheese with some surface mold does not need to be tossed.
7. True or False: Raw meats can be marinated at room temperature, because the marinade kills bacteria
8. True or False: It's safe to refreeze thawed or partially thawed foods.
9. True or False: Packaged salad greens labeled "prewashed" or "triple washed" don't need further washing.
10. True or False: The "sniff" test is a reliable way to tell if food is tainted with bacteria.

Answers

1. (3) Frequent and thorough handwashing is the No. 1 infection fighter. Plain soap will do - antibacterial products are not more effective and may contribute to drug-resistant bacteria. More people get food poisoning at home; restaurant meals are just reported more.
2. (2) 2 hours. If the weather is hot, reduce it to one hour. Remember to count the time it takes you to eat.
3. (All) It's not just animal foods that can harbor microbes. Besides cooking meat to proper temperature and eggs until not runny, wash all produce (including organic, which is also susceptible to microbes) with plain water.
4. Either is fine, as long as you scrub it with soap and water after cutting raw meat, poultry or fish on it. One advantage of plastic is that you can put it in the dishwasher. You may want to have different boards for raw meats and produce. Replace boards that have deep grooves or cracks.
5. (2) Bacteria thrive on high-protein foods such as eggs, tuna and chicken - not in store-bought mayo. Homemade mayonnaise, made from raw eggs (and no preservatives), however, can cause salmonella poisoning.
6. True. Just cut off at least an inch beyond the mold. The same goes for hard fruits and vegetables, such as apples and potatoes. Soft fruits and cheeses with mold, however, should be discarded.
7. False. Marinate all meat, poultry and seafood in the refrigerator. Do not add leftover marinade to the cooked meat unless you boil it first. Transfer the cooked meat to a clean platter, not back to the dish that held the raw meat.
8. True, as long as the food still has ice crystals or is below 4°C (40°F). Refreezing may, however, affect the food's flavour and texture.
9. True. Greens and other vegetables washed at the processing plant and labeled as such are probably cleaner than home-washed greens can ever be (but you pay extra for the convenience). Other greens, not labeled as having been washed should be thoroughly washed.
10. False. You usually can't smell or taste the microbes that cause food poisoning. Still, if food does smell bad, throw it out.

So How Did You Do? 


Here are two clips of a colleague of mine who spoke on "Keeping the Kitchen Clean & Safe"

Part One

Part Two

What are some ways you keep your kitchen safe for your kids?

Keeping Your Children Safe From Pornography

Picture from FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

Pornography Warning Label: “Contents highly addictive. Extremely corrosive to the soul materials enclosed. Be prepared to have your mind twisted, your views of life ravaged, and your spirit shrunk… Be prepared that after an initial rush, you will experience feelings of depression, loneliness, despair and guilt. However, with repeated exposures over time, you can numb those feelings – and enter into almost total amnesia about who you really are and about the truth it self.” – Wendy Watson.

Pornography is the second most searched topic on the internet, with about 68 Million searches per day. One in every five men view it at least every other day, and one in two view it weekly.   This helps the industry earn $100 Billion every year.

Chances are your son (more likely than your daughter) has been exposed to pornography, or will be exposed to it.  By the time of college, nine out of ten males have viewed pornography.

Now, your child will not start off viewing hard-core pornography.  “Gateway pornography” is usually what leads individuals into viewing pornography.  Gateway pornography is images, or movies that are not technically classified as pornography, but can lead to pornography.  Such as swimsuit calendars, sports magazines, and some music videos and films.  Usually this is how a pornography habit starts.

The following are some ways to help prevent pornography from entering your house so that you can keep your family safe.

First discuss, as a parent what sex is with your children.  Make this conversation apply to their age.  Let them know what pornography is as well.  This is something you can do on a yearly basis as their maturity grows.

Second is to discuss with your children what to do in cases of accidental viewing.  Something pornographic pops up on the computer screen, what do you do? Turn off the monitor and get mom or dad.  What do you do if you are watching an inappropriate show? Change the channel. And so on.  Of course, each house will have their own house rules.  It is your house; you do what you need to do.

Third is to be an open channel to your children.  Make sure that you are a safe person to talk to, so that they can talk to you about anything.  One of the ways to do this is to interview your children on a regular basis to see how they are doing and what they may need help with.  This is also a great time to see if they have been exposed to pornography.

Fourth is to filter out inappropriate material that may be in your home. Do a skim through your movies, music, video games, and magazine subscriptions to see if there may be anything pornographic, or even gateway pornography.  Anything that is questionable, throw it out.  Get rid of it immediately.  Also, before you buy a movie, check it out through something like Kids-In-Mind.com or ScreenIt.com.  They review the movie in great detail for you.  Sometimes by doing this filtering process, it may surprise you how much gateway porn has entered your home because you may have become desensitized.

Fifth is to protect the computer.  Set up parental controls to block inappropriate sites.  Unfortunately not all sites are blocked.  So it would be good to have a way to follow up on what your children are viewing on the computer.  Make sure you have access to your children’s computers and emails, even if they are password protected.  Don’t leave an Internet connected computer in a child’s room.   Put the computer in a frequented place in the house where people can see what one is doing.  It may also be good to not allow access to computer without a parent home, and at nighttime. Take the modem to bed with you.  This will make sure none of your kids are on the Internet alone.

These are just a couple of strategies that you can use to protect your house and children from pornography, and for preventing it from ever entering your house.  Be creative in what you do, but most of all, make sure your family is safe.

What are some things you do to keep your family safe from pornography?

Remember You Are a Husband First

It is often fairly common in marriages that the children become the focal point of the relationship, and that the children are what hold the marriage together.

While it is important to spend time with your children, and invest in them, you need to spend time with your wife as well.  You wouldn’t be the father you are, if you didn’t have your wife.

It is always a shame when men, when asked who they are, respond with a career position, followed by a church or volunteer position, than dad, and lastly (and sometimes not mentioned) husband.  You are a husband, first and foremost.  You need to love, care for, and nurture your relationship with your wife, the mother of your children. Again, you would not be a lot things in this world without the support of your wife.

There are several things that you can do to help you put your wife first:

• Remember to date your wife.  Have a date night once a week, where it is just you and your wife. No kids.
• Spend time together daily.  Watch a TV show together, read a book, play a game, shop together. Just do something to be together daily.
• Pray together.  Studies have shown that couples that pray together, stay together.
• Give a token that says, “I love you”.  While at school or work, send your wife a text message saying, “I love you”. Leave a note at home.  Do something that will let her know that you love her.
• Consider showering when you get home.  We all shower for when we have to leave to work.  Have you ever thought of the impression you’d give your spouse if showered for her when you got home work, to get rid of that work smell? Try it.

Remember you are a husband first, a dad second.  Everything else helps you fulfill your role as husband and father.  Make sure you let your wife know that she is first in your life.

What are some other ways that you can show your spouse that they are number one?